oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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