I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
