the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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