there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
