Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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