So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
