How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
