She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
