Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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