this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
why do cheetos always look like penises
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
