Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
