Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
