I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
