I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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