he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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