I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
