I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
