Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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