are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
