so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
