i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
