I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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