Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Someone signed my nipple.
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