2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
