chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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