i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize