Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
