Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
