Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
