I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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