Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
