I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
