Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
