I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
