? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
