I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me I talked like a deaf person
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
