If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can Purell be used as lube?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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