My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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