yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
