just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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