I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
