she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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