would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
