Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A+ Viking dick
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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