Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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