There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
