good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
