I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
