dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
