imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
