is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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