I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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