Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
