My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
