North Korea, Best Korea!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
