If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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