His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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