so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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