okay pat passed out under dana's car
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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