I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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